Saturday, April 30, 2011

university

Last week I finished my degree in Environmental Studies, specializing in Environmental Politics. I also did a concurrent certificate in Community Arts Practice. It was a great four years, and I'm glad to be moving forward with my life and have more time to pursue other things I'm interested in. I really loved school my first three years. I actually enjoyed almost everything about it, and there wasn't anything else that I would rather be doing. This year I was tired of being a student, and am glad that the year is done. But my time here really gave me room to grow, not just academically, but through the many clubs and activist groups I was involved in, and the strong sense of community I felt. This was as important and taught me just as much as any of the courses I took. Upon ending this chapter of my life, I wanted to look back upon the different classes I took, and even though they don't really add up to fully represent what I have learned the past four years, I still had the opportunity to take many classes that explored things I was really interested in.

Year 1:
Perspectives in Environmental Studies
Introduction to Environmental Science
Environmental Writing
Taking Action - Engaging People and the Environment
Piano Accompanying
Orchestra
Wind Symphony

other stuff:
Fair Trade Coalition
Sustainable Purchasing Coalition
No Sweat

Year 2:
Foundations of Environmental Politics
Foundations in Environment and Culture
Community Arts for Social Change
Introduction to Politics
Wind Symphony
Classical Performance - French Horn

other stuff:
Fair Trade Coalition
Sustainable Purchasing Coalition
Sustainable Eating
orchestra

Year 3:
Popular Education for Environmental and Social Justice
Race/Racism and Environmental Justice
Human/Non-human animal relations
Tropical Conservation and Sustainable Development
Community Arts Practice Preperatory Workshop
Qualitative Methods in Environmental Studies
Global Environmental Politics
Orchestra
Wind Symphony
Classical Performance - French Horn

other stuff:
Fair Trade Coalition
OPIRG board

Year 4:
Food, Land and Culture
Environmental Literatures
Environment, Media, Culture and Communication
Community Arts Practice Practicum Seminar
Social Movements, Activism and Social Change
Brass Ensemble
Classical Performance - French Horn

other stuff:
OPIRG board
No One Is Illegal
Food For All
orchestra
job as research assistant, worked on student-run business initiatives

these words don't sum up my experience in any way, but I wanted to keep some kind of record that I can look back at. Usually just a few words is all it takes to remind me of an experience.

Monday, April 4, 2011



Stand together, stand up for each other.
I want to remember how to write
Unlearn the fear that’s grown in these bones
Who try so hard
And dig back into this buried truth
That seeps out of my pores like blood from a fresh wound
Red and beautiful
Urgency that reflects the pain
Like a bare truth
Strung out to dry in the sun.

I want to close my eyes
And dive forward with my heart
Forget what it means to be careful
Or sensible
And live out of love.

Just because I know I can live without you
Doesn’t mean that I should.

I’ve felt a sharp breath
Of fresh air
That showed me this life
Is far better than I thought.

My two complex realities
Have interwoven
Each breathing new life into my soul
Inspiring my heart where it needs it most
And leaving me with a content farewell
Taking with me the strength
To live another day
And dive head first into the unknown.
It’s hardly been a blink in time since I met you
But a thousand thoughts have floated through my mind
And each one fills my soul with joy.

It’s too early to know anything,
But I don’t need to know.
I haven’t felt this way about anyone for so long
I forgot what it felt like

I have no apprehensions
What normally holds me back
Has faded away
And each thought fills my head with content

I think you’re perfect.

I think back to people before you,
How I thought the same of them
And they unravelled themselves.
Sometimes to show that they weren’t,
And sometimes to show that they were even more wonderful
Than I could have guessed.

So what I have fabricated and what is real
I really don’t know,
But for now it doesn’t matter.
I think you’re right for me,
And I have a feeling
An amazing feeling,
That things just may work out this time.
All pain one day subsides
Slowly, and slowly,
Until you finally realize it’s gone.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself
As I listen to a tune that’s full of sorrow
But never lacking strength.

And I think of you alone
In this large frigid world
And I want to sing you to sleep

Cause tomorrow you’ll wake up
And the day after that
And one day you’ll realize
That you’ve done something
Incredible.

So don’t give up hope
Your life may turn out to be
Something you never thought could be real.

You’ll find people,
And they’ll find you
And you will change them,
In a way you can’t imagine
Because though the world feels cold
You’re smile is a spark to light the fire.

As I listen again,
I don’t hear sorrow this time,
But something brimming with hope.
That time your heart stopped beating
For two seconds
I saw an eternity of hope
And I wished I could make it last forever
But with a flicker
You blinked your eyes
Shook your head,
And continued on your way.
The week, when everything came to a halt
I saw before my eyes
A flicker of opportunity,
Something that lies ahead.

Fear often is rationalized in the form of anger,
But when I think clearly,
I know you’re not to blame.
What seems impossible,
Needs to be done,
And should be embraced with joy.

Though it seems I don’t have time,
I know I do.
This pause in time seems impossible
But it happened without a blink
Where the earth kept turning
But I stayed still.

An internal crises
At the age of 22
I’m not mid-life
But I still relapse and question
And come out feeling clearer
Like I’ve sharpened my edges
And am headed in the right direction.

One last stretch,
Then it’s time to dive in.
Loosen your grip
And I will follow.
Anything held too tightly
Is not done out of love
But desperation.

Freedom is in our choosing
And we have always chosen each other.
That’s as much a grip
As we ever need.

What is a touch?

It is skin touching skin
It is hello
It is reassurance
It is friendly
It is pain
It is fear
It is controlling
It is asking
It is loving
It is giving
It is taking
It is goodbye

It is lightness
A beautiful reminder of how gentle
These hands can be
When thoughts turn to movement.

It is content
When trust is established
And this connection comes back
A steady unwavering support.

It is a painful shock
When it is unwanted
Driven out of selfish action
A brick smashes trust into pieces
Destroying any sense of feeling safe.

This is what is in a touch
So don’t act like it’s all the same.

What is in a touch?
The weight of the world.
Come to rest on your skin
A million voices reflected in the intent
That drives the movement of one body to the next.