polytechnique

Fourteen women
In their youth
Defying the odds
In ways that just seem everyday.
This is their life.
For now.

But this reality is interrupted
In a sudden horrific spurt of violence
Spreading fear and death
And these women are no more.

It may be sudden
But it was built upon
An eternity of hatred
Of those that wanted to remain
The ones in power
Disrupting opportunity
Stopping it dead in its tracks.

This direct attack
Reaches me deeply
It has horrified so many
But this place,
Where it happened,
Just seems so ordinary.

Only a marble plaque on the wall
Gives any hint that it happened here.
It only tells names,
Not a story.

Yet how is this different,
Than any other tragedy
Where those that suffer
Are forgotten
The land paved over
The memories lost
And no one stops to think
About this place they stand on
This land that has seen something
Terrible beyond words.

Notes I took on 'Goya Awakend in a Dream' when I was 11 years old

Looking through my sketchbook from grade 6 art class, I found these notes on the film 'Goya Awakened in a Dream', which I can actually remember watching. I find this quite amusing:

Tuesday, April, 25th 2000.
Elley N
Artists Specials
Movie Notes
Goya Awakened in a Dream

Girl sad, because they were losing thier house. Drawing in sand. Go's to uncles house to ask if they could stay, but uncle can't help them. They go to Cathedral to pray. Goya is deaf. Girl draws on poarch. Goya takes family to country house. The magesty of Spain.

Goya gives girl art supplies. When Goya lost his hearing. he learnt to hear by seeing. Draw what you really see, not what you think you see. Ivory brings light out of the darkness.

Senor Goya was going to die, but the girl knew how to get him to take his medecine. Painted picture of Goya getting medicin

Senor Goya painted on wall. People didn't like the paintings, except the young girl, and Goya himself. They didn't want them to see the paintings, so they covered them up. The Senor uncovered them, and said that senor Goya was a mad man. Girls dreams came true, and she said that Goya helped her express her dream, and taught her to hear by seeing.

Swimming through an ocean of currents
Each one affects you in some way
Carrying you along,
Encouraging you to move forward.
But some try to hold you still
Grabbing at you and fumbling you around
Till you feel lost and afraid.
Thousands of currents,
Every single day.
Some are looked upon fondly,
Some are reassuring,
But some hit you in the wrong place.
But each one is just one of many
And I am just one of many fish.
So why does this one little current
Keep coming back to haunt me?

These two realities are worlds apart
Yet I find solace in both of them.

They reach to the depths of my heart in opposite ways,
Yet I always feel that I’m right where I'm meant to be.

I have to let go of the fear of missing out,
And see what is right in front of me.

I’ve been planning for this for so long,
But right now it doesn’t quite seem right,
It seems like something that isn’t mine,
And I don’t want to leave what I have right here.

I’ve been shown a different way,
And at first I resisted,
But now it’s beginning to feel right.

paranoia

The fear that people can see through these paper thin walls
They are visualizing my thoughts, and stealing my identity.

No word is protected,
Secrets vulnerably float about,
Afraid that at any moment,
They will no longer be secrets.

This intrusion feels forced.
Like a gust of wind messing up your hair and whipping it around,
Like someone acting against your will
When you just want it to stop,
You just want them to go away.

I rock back and forth,
Always worried that people are suspicious of me,
That they know what’s going on.

But again they don’t,
And I breathe in an air of relief.
I allow myself to fall back on my old innocence,
I’m still the same person.

As this paranoia fades,
These walls seem to grow thicker,
And once again my secrets are safe.

This most beautiful person
A shining bright light full of joy and understanding
They just wanted to see me
And I lost them.

How do I really know?
Well I don’t –
There was a lot of space and time in between
And an ocean full of lost voices
And failed communication
But I just felt a sign
Like our friendship was over.

Sorry if I ever let you down,
But I still think you’re as bright and beautiful as ever,
And I remember you with a smile.
Your simple humble way
Of being so special.

I hope I didn’t lose you forever.