Thursday, April 30, 2009

It's All in the Timing

Everything is flowing and coming together perfectly
Nothing is planned
It’s just happening,
Much better than I dreamed it could be.

There is this constant looming feeling
Hanging over this new flow
Saying ‘nothing lasts forever, better enjoy it before you go’
Time lurks and hangs around
Maybe a relative to the devil,
Maybe a cousin to an angel
But regardless, it is there
All the time, always.
But most of the time I just push it aside.
I ignore it, and it doesn’t bother me.

If I was overly concerned,
I would have given up before I began
But if I always did that,
Nothing would ever grow.
Time is always here, everything will end eventually.
When that eventually comes, doesn’t really make a difference to me.
As long as it comes at peace.

I was a bit sad
Even when things were at their best
Knowing it couldn’t last long.
Then I had a great transition
After a short corner of time
Where everything was perfect.
It had been the most horrid little while
Now my mind was clearing up and calm
Everything was coming together
And the time spent with you felt so right.

Time no longer seemed like the enemy
It was on my side to at least some extent
A month away, I thought
That allows for plenty of more glorious events like this.
So my happiness returned,
And time became my friend, for a short while.
Longing was replaced with a pleasant calm
And I was happy with what we were given.

But that was taken away before it even began
My peace of mind turned out to be just a mask
Things were over before I knew it
Our different interpretations of time killing
What I had just set free.

The future is a gift
But the present is all we have.
Tomorrow seems like the greatest promise
But I don’t want to forget about today.

But since this little bit of time
Isn’t worth grabbing on to,
to you,
I suppose I should just let go.
If I hold on too tight, I’ll fall eventually
With no one there to pull me up.

Just don’t act like you know everything.
Maybe you’ll end up being right
But it’s not about right or wrong
Or anything imbetween
It’s not about what we should or shouldn’t do
Or what is logical and makes sense
I don’t care about any of that
It drives everything else in life,
This should be the one exception
The one time and place where we can be set free
But I guess those things do actually matter to you,
Even though you always seemed to avoid them before.

So I reach out, grab this flapping flying heart of mine,
And put it back in its cage.
Maybe I’ll wait awhile before I let it out again.
It can only be caught so many times
Before it feels defeated.
I don’t want to be tame.

This is the first times it’s really flown free
It just caught a burst of wind and really knew
For once what it felt like
But that gust of wind died down
Replaced by an eerie calm that I didn’t notice at first
Until I felt all the sudden that it might not come back.

I don’t even know if you were really flying with me
I’ll feel stupid if you weren’t
Maybe you were just on a short leash
Flapping your wings but not really wanting to go anywhere
But looking back honestly, I do know that you were really there too.


No one really knows when the wind will come again
Who reads the weather reports?
That certainly isn’t for me
Although not knowing seems to be killing me now
I know it actually isn’t.
Other things more or less stay the same
As long they are here, I’ll be okay
But if too much else changes,
I think I’ll go insane.
Soon everything will change, it will all be different
But who knows how I’ll feel about it then.

Everything certainly isn’t calm now
It’s not standing still where it used to be
Now it’s hovering in a new level
One that I’m not happy to stay at for long,
Or for any time at all.

No comments: