Moving and Breaking

Why would you start something if you didn’t want to finish it?
Time doesn’t mean that much anyway
Not to me, at least.
You’re not the only one making the decisions here
And now you’ve left me hanging
Just as I finally thought everything was perfect
I had a short while where my mind was with my heart
And I was completely content
But I haven’t seen you since then
And now it’s over.

At least I know what it feels like now,
Even if it only flashed by and then disappeared
Now I’m left, changing my life around
I feel okay, I know there are people that love me
And the fresh breeze through the open window
Brings my attention to the daffodils blooming outside
I know I’ll be okay here.
But nothing seems to move me.
My possessions, things, it all seems monotonous
I don’t like any of my clothes,
Music that usually makes me ecstatic now just hangs in the air blankly
And I want it to go away.
Why did I ever even care about those things
The only thing I see value in now is relationships
Of all kinds, close and starting
Human contact, friendship, love.

I feel weighed down by all these silly things I thought I needed
There’s no room for them here,
So I guess I’ll do without, or have them get in my way.
I’m finally alone for a minute,
No time to think, really
I need to finish and unpack before its time to go

At least I didn’t rush
With all these people here helping me
I knew you didn’t want to be with me anyway,
I just don’t know why you didn’t say it
You think you know what’s best for both of us
But you’re wrong,
You only know what’s best for yourself.
But whatever, you’ve made your mind up anyway
It won’t be the same now.

Things feel forced to you
But to me it feels natural
Naturally I want to see you as much as I can
And this morning, after so long
The thought that I might see you later that day seemed unreal
Or too good to be true.

I hang up the phone, smile and get back to work
Might as well just keep pretending
There isn’t any time for feeling here.
But to be honest I don’t feel that much
Disappointment, sure
But I figured it was already happening and I’d just give it one more chance
I’ve been crying all week,
Now I don’t care as much.
Once again, as always
I’m upset about things before they happen
Then once they do happen, I’m already halfway over it
So I just move on.

I kind of hate you right now
But I also love you
Mostly I just like you
As everything you are
As everything you were to me

A ring on the telephone and I hear a friendly relative’s voice
I have something to look forward to again
A new kind of something
Or old, I guess
But I see it differently now

I think there’s a hurricane outside now
Things are crashing all around the house
I run around, struggling to close windows
Rain starts pouring in on me
And its refreshing cold splashes make me feel real again.
The power is out now,
And no one is home
I feel worried for those I love
I want them to get back safe and sound soon
They are the ones that matter, anyway
I should never forget that.

Someone downstairs is freaking out
The car stalled twice, the power went out
What are the chances?
What are the chances, God?
Seems more funny to me
Does it really matter,
What really matters?