..and life’s like that.
A little part of you goes missing
You stop for a minute, to reflect
But then you just move on.
A cold drink, the sweaty glass dripping on the table
Music penetrates your ears
A steady breeze against your cheek
And you continue with your day.
But remember how he made you smile,
How his greeting cheered you every day.
A friend that never got mad
When you went away,
Disappeared for a few days or weeks or months.
But when you came back
He was always ecstatic to see you.


I love you,
And I’m sorry you suffered in the end.
Thanks for being a great friend for the past couple years.
Your enthusiastic greetings never failed to make me smile.
<3

______________________________
this poem is actually about my pet fish. just thought i'd let you know so you don't get too sad. but clearly i take things like this very seriously. he was the best fish you could ever ask for, and a consistent friend for several years.

Goodbye

I don’t even know what I’m doing.
I loved you so much,
I thought you were the greatest thing,
The most perfect thing for me.
I would have done anything,
I really would.

But now I’m letting you go,
You’re beautiful and sweet
But I feel like there isn’t much hope
I just feel like moving on.

I’m so set on this perfect person,
That I don’t look anywhere else.

But how long should I wait for the perfect circumstance?
Nothing ever seems right,
And when it does, it’s over too soon.

I’m sorry if I’m giving up on you,
But I’ve given enough time.

I still love you,
I’m just angry with myself.

See you soon.

Every Moment

Every moment
You are beautiful in my eyes.
The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

You’re smile
Is a ray of sunshine
I’ll never get tired of seeing it.
Seeing you happy
Is the most amazing thing -
I cherish every second of it,
Every smile,
Every ounce of laughter.

Your flesh taunts me
I dream of exploring you
Running my fingers and tongue
Over every nook and cranny

I love everything you have to say
I love listening to you speak
But next time
When we run out of words
I hope my lips will find yours
And we’ll think of a different
Type of thing to say.

I’m so afraid of scaring you away
So I’ll just continue to be your friend.

It’s strange
How someone could do so much to you
And never know it.

I hope he doesn’t think anything is ever about him anymore
Or that I care
Or miss him.
You almost broke me,
But you weren’t strong enough.
You were just weak and another big disappointment in my life.

polytechnique

Fourteen women
In their youth
Defying the odds
In ways that just seem everyday.
This is their life.
For now.

But this reality is interrupted
In a sudden horrific spurt of violence
Spreading fear and death
And these women are no more.

It may be sudden
But it was built upon
An eternity of hatred
Of those that wanted to remain
The ones in power
Disrupting opportunity
Stopping it dead in its tracks.

This direct attack
Reaches me deeply
It has horrified so many
But this place,
Where it happened,
Just seems so ordinary.

Only a marble plaque on the wall
Gives any hint that it happened here.
It only tells names,
Not a story.

Yet how is this different,
Than any other tragedy
Where those that suffer
Are forgotten
The land paved over
The memories lost
And no one stops to think
About this place they stand on
This land that has seen something
Terrible beyond words.

Notes I took on 'Goya Awakend in a Dream' when I was 11 years old

Looking through my sketchbook from grade 6 art class, I found these notes on the film 'Goya Awakened in a Dream', which I can actually remember watching. I find this quite amusing:

Tuesday, April, 25th 2000.
Elley N
Artists Specials
Movie Notes
Goya Awakened in a Dream

Girl sad, because they were losing thier house. Drawing in sand. Go's to uncles house to ask if they could stay, but uncle can't help them. They go to Cathedral to pray. Goya is deaf. Girl draws on poarch. Goya takes family to country house. The magesty of Spain.

Goya gives girl art supplies. When Goya lost his hearing. he learnt to hear by seeing. Draw what you really see, not what you think you see. Ivory brings light out of the darkness.

Senor Goya was going to die, but the girl knew how to get him to take his medecine. Painted picture of Goya getting medicin

Senor Goya painted on wall. People didn't like the paintings, except the young girl, and Goya himself. They didn't want them to see the paintings, so they covered them up. The Senor uncovered them, and said that senor Goya was a mad man. Girls dreams came true, and she said that Goya helped her express her dream, and taught her to hear by seeing.

Swimming through an ocean of currents
Each one affects you in some way
Carrying you along,
Encouraging you to move forward.
But some try to hold you still
Grabbing at you and fumbling you around
Till you feel lost and afraid.
Thousands of currents,
Every single day.
Some are looked upon fondly,
Some are reassuring,
But some hit you in the wrong place.
But each one is just one of many
And I am just one of many fish.
So why does this one little current
Keep coming back to haunt me?

These two realities are worlds apart
Yet I find solace in both of them.

They reach to the depths of my heart in opposite ways,
Yet I always feel that I’m right where I'm meant to be.

I have to let go of the fear of missing out,
And see what is right in front of me.

I’ve been planning for this for so long,
But right now it doesn’t quite seem right,
It seems like something that isn’t mine,
And I don’t want to leave what I have right here.

I’ve been shown a different way,
And at first I resisted,
But now it’s beginning to feel right.

paranoia

The fear that people can see through these paper thin walls
They are visualizing my thoughts, and stealing my identity.

No word is protected,
Secrets vulnerably float about,
Afraid that at any moment,
They will no longer be secrets.

This intrusion feels forced.
Like a gust of wind messing up your hair and whipping it around,
Like someone acting against your will
When you just want it to stop,
You just want them to go away.

I rock back and forth,
Always worried that people are suspicious of me,
That they know what’s going on.

But again they don’t,
And I breathe in an air of relief.
I allow myself to fall back on my old innocence,
I’m still the same person.

As this paranoia fades,
These walls seem to grow thicker,
And once again my secrets are safe.

This most beautiful person
A shining bright light full of joy and understanding
They just wanted to see me
And I lost them.

How do I really know?
Well I don’t –
There was a lot of space and time in between
And an ocean full of lost voices
And failed communication
But I just felt a sign
Like our friendship was over.

Sorry if I ever let you down,
But I still think you’re as bright and beautiful as ever,
And I remember you with a smile.
Your simple humble way
Of being so special.

I hope I didn’t lose you forever.